Monday, July 25, 2011

Romance - when she is just inbetween.

Romance happens when a guy first meets a girl and instantly likes her. We've heard, read about, witnessed and watched it on countless romantic and chick-flick movies. One thing I've never seen though is a film about how a guys-girl (ie is or was a tom boy) falls in love.
Let me expatiate. Here is a girl who hangs out with guys and loves doing all things guys do. Her bestfriend is a guy so are 95% of her friends. Guys are so free around her so she's used to all the queer behaviours they hide from girls generally.
The big question is, what does she see or what qualities must her boyfriend to be possess that makes her fall for him? Well for starters he must be a guy above guys. He must be able to stand with men and seem like the immortal while they are the mere mortals. But guess what, that doesn't mean he gets to treat her like a vunerable lower specie that needs help and protection all the time; to her she is an equal and wouldn't tolerate that. A girl that different wants a guy who respects her like he would his buddies, be frank and straight forward and also be romantic and unpredictable with her.
So now I'm done describing the guys-girl's guy to be, let me paint a picture of comparison between her romantic life with that of an ordinary girl:
An ordinary girl sizes a guy up based on her values then decides before hand if she's going to talk to him when he approaches her and if she really likes him may give him her number. A guys-girl doesn't size up a guy till he actually approaches and blurts on the first sentence or two. If he just wants to talk then no problem so long as the guy doesn't bore her, if he's hitting on her and doesn't have what she's looking for then she walks out, if he's hitting on her and has got what she wants, fine but she's not giving her number but if he is not hitting on her, just wants to chat, and has got what she wants then she gives him her number. Yes a guys-girl doesn't like to be hit on, it cheapens the guy sort of. He has to earn her friendship before he subsequently becomes the boyfriend.
An ordinary girl likes her guy to idolize her, shower her with gifts and be the perfect guy around her. A guys-girl just wants to be occassionally super surprised (impressing her won't work, she knows all guys' tricks so you have to do something out of the blues for that to work), for the guy to be himself around her and for him to treat her with respect.
An ordinary revolves her world around her guy and depends on him for most things. A guys-girl has her own world, she independent and may only ask her guy randomly for assistance to make him feel needed. To her the guy is not her hero just cos he provides for her, he is the hero cos he was the one she chose amongst and above all other guys.
An ordinary girl's guy has to deal with her streams of girlfriends, a guys-girl's guy has to deal with her numerous guy friends so it will be a good thing if he is not the so jealous type.
An ordinary girl is not really all emotionally dependent on her guy, she has her girls for that, all she wants is just for her not to catch her boyfriend cheating on her. A guys-girl is emotionally dependent on her guy, he her boyfriend is a guy like all her other friends but she's dating him too so he's two things to her.
A guys-girl is not without her faults like an ordinary girl. A guys-girl puts her guy on a high pedestal and expects him to maintain it, to her love and respect go hand in hand so if she doesn't respect him she cannot possibly be in love with him. She instils this fear of inadequacy and spirit of competition in her boyfriend without meaning to, it's only cos she is used to doing things on her own and is a high achiever naturally.
Finally, we must not forget in all her huff and puff she is a girl like anyother, she wants to be loved and cherished same way too. If she eventually the guy earns her trust, she will show him her feminine side she has fought so hard to suppress but I wouldn't count on that if I were her guy...
Maybe one day I will get to see a movie of that sort but till then here is what it is.
A thelish-ous day to you all.

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