Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Swift Networks Does Not Give a Shit About Their Customers

If you reside in Lagos, Nigeria and are internet savvy then you need no introduction on who or rather what SWIFT Networks is. However for the benefit of my readers who don’t…

Swift Networks Limited is a facilities-based telecommunications services provider. The company was founded in 2002 and generally provides multi-service broadband connectivity services (simply put, Internet) to businesses and residential subscribers within Lagos state.

Swift Networks recently introduced with a new 4G LTE platform that would make internet faster and cheaper (if you believe their campaign or advert). What they obviously forgot to mention was that this new platform will require all customers to change their modems and MIFIs to be able to access this platform.

To silence potential complaints from customers, they were crafty in coming up with this promo whereby you could turn in your old modems/MIFIs for the new ones only for a swapping fee of N5,000. Great right? Of course, especially considering the fact that none of the service centers were provided with enough MIFIs to last a week. That is like telling 1 million customers they can trade in their old cars for new ones and yet make only 1000 cars available.

As soon as the stock ran out, we MIFI users were then put on a longgg P by constantly reassuring us that new MIFIs will be available soon (soon in this case turned out to be 3 months!).

What happened during the three months of “longfully” waiting with N5,000 clutched in our fist while we watched the customers on the new 4G LTE platform browse for half the cost ( WiMax customers pay N8,000 for 17 GB while 4G LTE users pay same N8,000 for 34 GB) we were paying on our slower WiMAx platform? I will tell you…

1.    A pathetic email was sent to all customers telling them it was okay to remain on the WiMax platform even though it is slower and more expensive. Really? So if my neighbor is buying a loaf of Shoprite bread for N250, I should feel satisfied to be restricted from buying same bread and yet to happily continue buying agege bread for N250?
2.    A surprising you-can-go-hug-a-transformer Merry Christmas email was sent to inform customers that the swapping fee has been increased from N5,000 to N8,000. So I am still restricted from buying Shoprite bread but should in case I am allowed in the future, I should be prepared to pay extra N100?
3.    Speed of the WiMax platform dropped. Honestly, I could stream a YouTube video in the past without the buffering effect. Now I have to wait for at least 5 mins to allow the streaming download half of the video content first. Think about it, why should they waste resources on few customers remaining on their old platform?
4.      The Oshiomhole go-and-die moment came yesterday when I discovered that the new MIFIs were available. I quickly got home after, grabbed my old modem and USB cord, made a quick dash to the ATM to withdraw N8,000 and then drove to the nearest service. I was determined to get my new modem that same day. When I presented my swapping fee, I was told my money was incomplete. “I don’t understand” I said and the sales lady was quick to explain, “Madam, the MIFI costs N15,000. If you are swapping then it’s for N13,000”. I was shocked. “So you guys increased the swapping fee without any mail or text informing customers? Are you now implying my old modem is worth just N2,000?...”. My dear readers, I was speechless. I left defeated vowing never to bother myself about exchanging my old MIFI for a new one.

I understand that Swift Networks couldn't care less about the opinions of one small customer. After all we need fast internet and theirs seem to be the most affordable for now but then again I know that this I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude towards customers has brought many a business to their knees. It usually starts with one customer like me speaking out.

I bought my MIFI modem barely 6 months ago for N20,000 and have refused to part with it for just N2,000. I will stick it out on the old Wimax platform using my old MIFI modem even though 4G LTE users have it faster and cheaper.

Perhaps there will be another promo someday; perhaps another company will offer 4G LTE service in my area for a lower price. One thing is certain, forces of a capitalist economy combined with those of demand and supply will surely vindicate me.

You have made a strong brand rebel Swift Networks. Thelish.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Are you ill? Blame our president Jonathan!

My sister, a medical doctor, came back from work today so tired complaining on the increasing number of patients in the hospital she works with. My mum quickly said it is because of our president. I naturally asummed she meant an ongoing strike or some new law that has just been passed benefiting patients and thus making them patronize public hospitals. Lo and behold my mum explained she said so because the citizens of Nigeria have lost faith in their president, Goodluck Jonathan. Terrorism, bombings and the deteriorating situation in the country are beginning to have a toll on us evident in increasing cases of high blood pressure, anxiety, heart attacks, depression and hypertension.
Is this far-fetched or is there an iota of truth in my mum's thesis? I have never been interested in politics, I believe that whatever situation presented itself has a way around it therefore I wasn't concerned about how the governance of this country affected we the citizens...we are tough skinned, we know how to survive. Now I am, is this surviving? Bomb blasts and bloodsheds? Unemployment...inflation?
I am not qualified to analyse Jonathan's 100 plus days in office or proffer solutions to the problems we are facing but I am allowed to say, "I do hope it doesn't get to the situation where we are at war with one another like in Libya because starvation and political unrest will not be handled well by majority of the masses if there is another war".
God bless Nigeria and every place else!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Reading is madness!

Bravo! Bravo! To Chinua Achebe's Anthills of the Savannah. I am not done with the book yet I'm utterlessly (my word) impressed by his manner of writing. Now to give this compliments means I have a manner of reading to have understood him somewhat.
I have come to realize that excellent reading and writing skills require an intelligence that bothers on insanity. Think about it, what makes one come up with such fabricated stories with twists and suspense if not madness?! A genius some may say... And to read for such long hours, imagining and playing vividly each scene in your mind, laughing, giggling or screaming as the case may be? That's is an extreme case of delusion and separation from reality. lol!
Don't get me wrong, I do not describe to diminish in any way the value of reading and writing. I am an ardent reader and in stating this, a writer too. But just like watching a movie through a TV set where a character in the movie is also watching a TV, perhaps someone should put in writing the eccentricities of writing and then reading!
Not making sense? Let me take you back to your formative years when you started reading books with pictures; the colors and captivating drawings! Eventually you tumbled onto children books without pictures which you still enjoyed (for me it was The 7 voyages of Sinbad). You yearned for more and read bigger books you couldn't fully understand because you felt your vocabulary was inadequate. Perhaps it was then but as you grew older you realized it doesn't only require good vocabulary to fully understand a writer's peculiarity.
Reading requires patience, a wide sense of imagination and humour, ability to retain a sentence's meaning, be it simple or complex, from beginning to end and sometimes the ability to replay the exact conversation scene with you taking the role of a character in your head. I go far beyond that to try and place the writer's mood as he was bent over his desk typing that particular paragraph or punch line in his manuscript; did he laugh as I did too? Or did he smile with a secret knowing his future readers will shed a tear at that particular scene?
Bless the Lord Almighty in creating us as he did with all these complexities. Reading, writing, watching, acting and directing a movie all require a certain madness. To each his own... I rest my case.
Good night lovelies, I hope you do read a book one day that will make you understand all I've just said!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Why the world won't be better

We celebrate violence, we celebrate promiscuity, we celebrate pride, arrogance and selfishness and we wonder what's wrong with the world, why it is in such chaotic state. Why there are wars, poverty, deaths and all calamities. These crimes are not supernatural, they are committed by men.
It's a lose-lose situation with the people of the world: they do not want to be preached to, they do not want to change and yet when they see so much suffering in the world they wonder why God allows it. No we allowed it in our own little way and collectively it generated to what we have today. Imagine letting the police man have N20 so that you can save time, imagine sharing answers in the exam hall because he/she is your friend, enrolling your kids in special centers, corporate sabotage and fraud, family feud because your sibling is wealthier, sexual immorality to seem cool and happening, thefts, importing fake products and 999999999 others. I weep for the nation and the world at large because I know some people reading this are already coming up with justifications on why they do or should do some of these; that is using more sins to combat sins?! This reminds me of a time my facebook account was hacked and links of Ophray Winfrey Network were posted by 'me' with all my friends (the whole 1000+ of them) tagged! At first few started complaining with comments that they don't want to be tagged in links not concerning them, then they multiplied to people complaining that people should stop complaining as that was heaping notification text messages in their phones and killing their batteries! And they quadrupled till eventually it blew out and I went online to delete the some of the links! All this could have been avoided if people simply stopped posting complaints.
So called christian brothers are not any better, we try to live our lives by hiding and keeping mute to this happenings in the name of living in peace with men. It shows we condone it and do not have love in us or how else can you see someone we love come to ruin and not say or do anything about it? Or see justice perverted and say amen in chorus. Nobody is saying you should go fight the government but the little ones you have control over, please do something. Praying is for communication with God, when you ask that He guides and helps you as you DO/LIVE your life. Not for Him to come down in person to do what he put you in this world to do (bringing his kingdom upon men).
I've learnt something over the months, anything bad you condone because you feel it won't or can't influence you eventually will. Lord help you to have the wisdom and truth to know and admit that it has. I've gotten to a stage in this life when I've realized it's pointless trying to compare yourself with worldly standards because they keep changing: lowering or 'highering' according to societal fads. I get to live my life once and by God I hope to make the most of it worshiping Him in spirit and in truth. Truth by keeping His commandments which is to love Him with all my heart, soul, strength, and might and to love my neighbors as myself.
I chose to write about this today because waking up this morning I felt heavy at heart, like I had to speak out and save some souls. If you felt touched by my post, be sure to thank the Lord for calling you back and kneel down and talk to Him.
Have a blessed day my neighbors.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was a boy, Obi and a girl, my friend Sammy will say, "If Obi is a boy and Ada is a girl then who is Adaobi?". Yeah back to my story... One day as Ada was walking along the apianway (supposed shortcut) behind her house to the market, she met Obi. It was love at first sight (for Obi by the way), Obi was so awed by her beauty that he was speechless. "Hi", Ada said and Obi stuttered, "Yesss, Good afternoon!".
Good afternoon?! Of all things to say? lol... How many guys have been in this situation? I can bet this happens to girls too. Really? I wonder what it is about the opposite sex that makes one speechless at 1st encounter: Beauty? Swag? Suavity? Expensive attire? The ride? Just the dynamic combination of all of the above? What is it? Tell me...his/her smile blew you away? Or was he/she that ugly?! Oh please!
I also wonder what recovering from the embarrassment will be like... Some guys are really cool at saving face, they proceed immediately with an apology of manners and blame it on how beautiful you are. An apology and a compliment in the girl is impressed too.
In the case of Obi and Ada, he couldn't recover from the first flaw and therefore didn't get Ada's phone number or her even name. End of story.... Obi should go home and learn pick up lines and strategies like Barney in the series, How I Met your Mother.
I need to get on with my day so it's thelish for now...but you have to do me a favour. Think of what you will do next to save face if this happens to you or from you (you know what I mean).
Have a speechlessly awesome day that will blow your mind away aiigh?

What to talk about?#@!

Jeez being in a long drought of purposelessness and joblessness is really energy draining and messes up the mind. Everyone in my same size of shoes say aye!
The 1st time one experiences this is after WASSCE where he/she has to stay at home for months anxiously waiting for the results to be released so as to know if he/she made it into the university of 1st choice. The next long drought usually comes during an ASUU strike (which occurs once or twice before a typical Nigerian student graduates) or during a forced shut down of the school cos of student riots or massive cultism related deaths. Thereafter is the drought after school awaiting call-up and NYSC and the next, the job hunt or scouting around for places for masters as the case maybe.... Help!
These droughts usually start the same way: at first you're excited you're through with a major exam or whatever; you're free as a bird - no school, no books, no nothing! You're like yippee, time to party and have fun!!! A month later you are well spent, bored and looking for an activity to engage yourself in because like it or not that's what gives life a meaning and purpose - productivity.
Are you kidding me? I'm sitting on my bed and for the 1st time, typing a blog post on my laptop (have always used my phone) and I can't even come up with a topic to write on. Yeah so I decided to write about writing a post so here it is...I give a shout out to my friends and hope they are faring better than I am. Don't let it get to you and don't let yourself grow fat with mum's food!
It should be a sort of compliment to be in a drought cos it's an evidence that you passed through previous others too and emerged a conqueror... We will conquer this and hopefully our next drought in the future will be on what to do with the wealth we've been accumulating.
One day I'll look back and remember writing this, how I felt and all I said. To the future us, to being in droughts on how to make Nigeria a better place, to life and health.... Good night folks and thelish!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Shopping @ Main market, Osha.

Have you ever been on a shopping spree before? I can bet Shoprite or Games comes to mind right? lol...Well we don't have those down here in Anambra, we have a far bigger and versatile market here called Main market! Believe me it's got some class too. Yeah classes of people from different walks and crimes of life!
It's not only people in Ajegunle, Lagos that have become wisened by life experiences. Living in Onitsha or shopping frequently in main market, you can boast of that too. Main market is a place you can get all you've budgeted for, it is also a place you can lose your budget to thieves if you're not careful. These are the rules and guidelines I follow ardently whenever I go shopping in main market:
*Eat a light 'tummy agreeable' breakfast: you have a long shopping day ahead of you and you don't want to start looking for where to do a number 1 or 2 in the market. Totally unhygienic and infectious!
*Wear trousers, a long top and flat shoes or scandals and do not wear jewelleries: wearing a skirt or high heels hinders you from running or jumping fences and gutters when something happens. As for a pair of slippers, be sure it will cut before you're done with your shopping cos someone is bound to step on you while walking. Unless it is inexpensive or you do not mind having an abrasion, please do not wear necklaces, loose wristwatches or bangles.
*Do not put your whole money in your bag: Have three quarters in ur pockets and one quarter in ur bag. This is incase your bag is snatched.
*Be highly disciplined with your money: 1st of all, I will advice that you make a list of what you want to buy and stick to it, also set aside your transport fare home. You don't want to be buying everything in sight that catches your fancy and find out at the end of the day that you're broke and can't even get home! Well that's where your ATM card comes in handy but be careful not to withdraw all you have in your bank account!
*Walk fast with your feet and eyes: I do not say this to save you shopping time, I say this cos if you don't walk fast someone makes sure you do by shoving you out of the way. Watch out also for the uzo uzo people and the ndi oburu (wheelbarrow pushers), they are mean and will not hestitate to tear your clothes with their wheelbarrow teeth or stain you with their filthiness! If you argue with them you've bought yourself a fight!
*Do not ask directions from just anybody: if you want something and are not sure of the line or the particular place to buy it, ask the hawkers not 'by-standers'. The by-standers are ndi oso ahia in camouflage, they will always tell you they know where to get it and may either waste you time at the end of the day or cheat you out of your money.
*Do not buy anything along the major market streets: unless you'r tired or wouldn't mind throwing away extra cash it would be advisable not to buy from merchants along the street, they sell at twice the price of traders inside.
*If you're not convinced of the quality, don't buy: in the market, you find the originals, fakes and the imitations of the fakes...Need I say more? Therefore if he's not your trusted merchant, don't believe anything he says.
*Bargain even if the quoted price is below that in your budget: the 1st price a trader quotes is usually between 1.5-2 times the actual price of his goods so don't be afraid to negotiate.
*When you're done shopping, as soon as you get home take your bath with medicated soap and then sleep. It's no ordinary feat what you have accomplished going in there and coming out in one piece!
Here are some tips: shopping on Mons and Thurs is cheaper because that's when the bails come in. Shopping during the Christmas period can be fun, crazy or dangerous but things are definitely a lot cheaper...
So I'm organising a shopping day out for my girls and I come this December and if you'll like to join us holla k?